The Lucky Lizard: Short Stories Games Jokes and More! Read online



  The Lucky Lizard

  Uncle Amon

  Uncle Amon Books

  ~~~

  Copyright © 2015 Uncle Amon Books

  All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

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  Table of Contents

  FREE GIFT!

  The Day the Luck Ran Out

  Catastrophe Joe

  Bouncer and the Pie

  Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

  Clever vs. Wise

  Funny Jokes for Kids

  Games and Puzzles

  Game and Puzzle Solutions

  More Books by Uncle Amon

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  The Day the Luck Ran Out

  Once upon a time, in the magical land known as Forestopia, where the word “forest” is always spelled with one R, as it should be (and occasionally with two S’s as it shouldn’t) there lived a very clever and charming lizard. This lizard’s name was Eugene, but everyone called him Lucky.

  This was not some sort of ironic nickname, like when you might call the heavyset guy with the broad shoulders “Slim” or the extremely tall lady “Tiny.” It was a very genuine, literal nickname, because things just always seemed to work out really well for him.

  Even Eugene’s parents, who had gone to all the trouble of giving him a perfectly good name, called him Lucky.

  He always hit the lotto whenever he played, not winning so much money to make him crazy-rich, but enough to keep his refrigerator stocked with leaves, fruits, and berries. He even won the refrigerator in a game of chance!

  One day, though, he stopped by his favorite store to get some chocolate milk (his favorite kind of milk) and a lotto ticket, only to find they were completely sold out of chocolate milk!

  Not only that, but he bought his lottery ticket and for the first time ever he didn’t win a dime. And the ticket gave him a paper cut.

  On his way out the door, Lucky stubbed his toe on the ice cream cooler, too!

  And then, walking home, a huge truck ran through a mud puddle splashing gross, dirty water all over him, soaking him to his little lizard bones.

  What is happening!?! Lucky thought. In his entire life he had never had a bad day. He certainly did not want to start now.

  He turned off the road and found a big rock on which to sun himself. He laid down, basking in the warm, comforting rays of light, and tried to figure out how everything could have gone so wrong.

  Soon his friend Ollie the owl flew down and landed beside him. “What’s wrong, Lucky?” he asked. “You look down. And I’ve never seen you look down before.”

  “I’m just trying to figure out where my luck has gone,” the lizard answered. “It was right here yesterday, but it seems to have wandered off!”

  “This is terrible!” Ollie said. “But not to worry! My eyes are sharp and my wings are fast! I’ll help you find it!”

  Lucky was very grateful, and together they wandered the forest in search of Eugene’s luck.

  After a little searching a very playful squirrel named Charlie joined the hunt, too. “I know these woods like the back of my paw!” Charlie said. “If your luck is out here, we’ll find it!”

  Soon a fawn named Cupcake joined in the hunt. And then Billy the rabbit, and Biscuit the grizzly bear cub.

  They searched high and low for the young lizard’s luck. They turned over trees, scoured bushes and branches, but it was nowhere to be found. And the sun was about to set, which meant it was nearly bedtime for the creatures of Forestopia.

  “What exactly does it look like?” Ollie asked.

  Lucky thought on this for a moment and then had an amazing epiphany.

  “I think,” said Lucky, “that it looks exactly like this. Like all of you taking the time to help me out, just because you care about me.”

  Lucky had many friends who truly cared about him, and that made him the luckiest lizard in the world!

  Catastrophe Joe

  Science tells us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Mathematics tells us that every equation must be balanced. “Star Wars” tells us that if there is a light side of the force, there is also a dark side.

  So it stands to reason that if there exists in the world a lizard that is the luckiest lizard of all time, there must also be a lizard that has absolutely no luck at all.

  And they both just so happen to have lived in the magical land known as Forestopia!

  The very lucky lizard was named Eugene, but everyone called him Lucky for reasons that are probably fairly obvious.

  The lizard that couldn’t catch a break with both hands and a butterfly net was called Catastrophe Joe.

  Catastrophe Joe was not a bad guy, he was not living his life as some sort of cosmic payback or karmic punishment for horrors or misdeeds he had committed, he was just living as best he could while every single thing went wrong all the time.

  Joe never took a bite of an apple that wasn’t secretly rotten on the inside. He never bought a blender that wasn’t broken out of the box or drove a car that didn’t get a flat tire within seconds. And he got audited on his taxes every single year.

  Nothing ever went right for the little blue lizard, and he was pretty depressed about it.

  One day Lucky the lizard’s friend Ollie the owl found the fortunate reptile floating in a brand new swimming pool outside his home. A local beaver wanted to start a business building in-ground pools, and built one for Lucky for free as practice, because that’s how things tended to go in Lucky’s life.

  Ollie told Lucky about all of Joe’s problems and lucky knew right away that he had to help. Hopefully some of Eugene’s luck could rub off on Joe!

  Ollie gently picked Lucky up in his mighty talons and flew him to the Forestopia hospital, where Catastrophe Joe was being treated for the fifth time that week – and it was only Tuesday.

  “What happened?” Lucky asked the small blueish-green lizard with a cast on his tail.

  “I was just walking down the street and an air conditioning unit fell out of a window and landed on my tail.” Joe said sadly. “Don’t worry though. I’m used to it. I always expect this sort of thing to happen. I basically have a standing reservation at the emergency room. I’m sure I’ll be run over by an ambulance on my way out the door. It will be ironic.”

  “That’s terrible!” Lucky said. “But I think I may see the problem!”

  They all waited for the cast to set, Lucky helped fill out the paperwork, and the new friends walked outside.

  “I believe we make our own luck a lot of the time,” Lucky said. “If you believe good things will happen to you then they will! Positivity is key to living a good life.”

  Joe was very confused by this. “How can I believe that things will work out if they never ha
ve?” he asked.

  “You just have to change your mindset! Come on, let’s go get some ice cream and talk about how being alive is the best thing there is!” Lucky said.

  “But to get to the ice cream we have to cross a street!” Joe protested. “I never cross the street. So many things can go wrong and definitely will!”

  “We just have to believe everything will be fine and it probably will be,” Ollie said.

  “Well,” said Catastrophe Joe. “What have I got to lose? My life? That’s not worth anything, so sure. Let’s cross the street.”

  Lucky said, “That’s the spirit! Sort of!”

  And so they waited for the “Do Not Walk” sign to become a “Walk” sign, and began to briskly walk across the road. Visions of banana splits danced in Lucky’s mind, while visions of being squished by a garbage truck floated through Joe’s head.

  But then Joe did something he had never done before: he changed his mind. He thought instead of a hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top! And how he would ask for extra nuts, because nuts are delicious! And how he was happy to have made new friends. And then the strangest thing happened: he crossed the street with no problem at all!

  And once he was on the sidewalk again he looked down and saw a shiny new quarter laying heads up! That was as sure a sign of good luck as anything.

  Joe picked up the coin and said, “I’ve never found money before. What is happening?”

  “You’re expecting the universe to be a wonderful place!” Lucky said. “And so it is a wonderful place!”

  They stepped into the ice cream shop, ordered their frozen treats and enjoyed the